Pizza Mystery
Original By Sebastian A., Revised by Dora H.

[Written in Creative Writing... lame but still, I got a grade on it. Yes, I'm in this one. The characters are again based on some of my friends. The concept was to film it to get extra credit, but time never allowed. Extremely corny story.]

SCENE 1

Some see me as Keishana, the greatest investigator in all of Bergham, some call me Madam Detective of the town. No matter, I am Detective Rei Keishana, a very bored super sleuth in search for the root of all crimes. It's seemed a while since I last solved a case in the small town of Bergham, Texas. Seasons have come and gone before I knew it, and it was nearly the twelfth anniversary of Guisepi's Pizza Parlor. I decided that paying a short visit to a dear friend would help erase some of the monotony caused by this tranquility of this isolated town. It was this very day that things would change, for now maybe… just by a single visit to Guisepi's Pizza Parlor, one late October morning…

Guisepi is talking to Detective Keishana in his pizza restaurant.

Guisepi : Did you a like a the pizza I a made for you?

Detective : Um, yeah, it was okay, I guess. Just stopped by to catch up on the recent happenings. So, how's everything going?

Guisepi : Well the restaurant is doing well, and me and my a lovely wife are working in a care lupus. And… Oh! Yes, someone tried to a murder me yesterday!

Detective : Murder you? Tell me about it.

Guisepi: Well, last night (Black and white, VO) I went to sleep beside my honey snookems when I felt a something sharp poking at me. I was a terrified as well as my dearest.

Guisepi's wife enters, appearing somewhat disturbed as she looks at the detective.

Ida : What's going on?

Guisepi : I was just telling about the attempted murder. (Turns to detective) And a let me a show you the knife that I had found under my a covers.

Guisepi pulls out the knife and shows it to the detective. Ida remains motionless.

Ida : Well… while you speak to the detective, I'll be in the kitchen working.

It was clear to me that I finally had a new case in my hands. Who was trying to murder Guisepi and why? And would we be able to solve this case in time to spare Guisepi's life?

I couldn't quite understand why some moron would want to take the life of such a neighborly old pizza maker. I knew his wife loved him dearly, and that she was just as frightened as he himself. What insane phsychadelic homicidal maniac would be at it again? All were still in jail that I had previously busted for similar, more tangible crimes I've investigated, but with such a small number of citizens in Bergham, I would have to dig through the stone surface of the soil, maybe I would find something I wouldn't want to know…

SCENE 2

Obviously, the murderer was somewhere near, or so I felt. But, I also know that the Earth is the third planet nearest the sun. I began the investigation somewhere away from the home of the victim, where you could always guarantee the whereabouts of the alleged predator. Of course, you must think outside the box: Will the criminal really return to the scene of the crime if he knows that he is expected to return? What idiots you must be to think such a philosophy would prove true in a case like such! Most likely, he'll try his best to stay a reasonable distance from his target, yet he will not leave until the activity has successfully been carried out, then he will flee. But you must also know, if you don't want to be caught doing it, let someone else at it…

Detective is sitting in the park where people are simply passing by about their own businesses. Jack comes by and greets the detective.

Jack : Say, Keishana. What's up, sista?

Detective : Fine, and you?

Jack : Um… fine I guess. Not all that well, you know. Life in general.

Detective : (Nodding) Yeah. Sorry that you're not all that uppy today. So, mind to tell me about it?

Jack : That loser store owner fired me, son of a hippo. I didn't do anything wrong and the old man kicked me out! No matter, he'll pay.

Detective : Hmm. Pay for what, exactly?

Jack : I.. uh… (Remains silent for a few.) Just… whatever. I hope a chunk of the moon collides into him one day.

Detective glares at Jack as Jack nervously looks around.

Jack : I gotta go, Keish, thanks for talking again.

Detective : Anytime Jack.

Keishana notices a similar knife sticking out from his bag as he scurries away.

SCENE 3

Detective calls Guisepi on the phone.

Detective : Yo Guisepi. Detective Rei Keishana. Just calling shortly to give a brief warning. You know someone's out to kill you, so for tonight it would perhaps be safe for you to stay home.

Guisepi : Alright a then, and I a hope you solve this case in a jiffy.

Detective : I will, and all will end well with you in one peice, you hear? Just stay home for today and I'll take care of things for today.

Guisepi : I a sure appreciate your efforts, Ma'am Detective.

SCENE 4

Detective is at the bank, where she sees Ida signing some documents.

Detective : How Guisepi? You think he'll be alright?

Ida : He's really really nervous because of all of this commotion. Please do what you can to catch the killer. I can't bear to see Guisepi suffering, I really want him to be alright.

Detective : I'll do what I can, ma'am. I think I may have a hunch about who it is, also.

Ida : I think it may have something to do with firing that kid, Jack. Ever since, he had been carrying around these two huge knives like he was up to no good.

Detective : Like I said, ma'am. I know what I'm doing.

There is a brief silence.

Ida : Do you happen to have a quarter? I want to buy a coke.

SCENE 5

Jack locates a card coupon for a free pizza at Guisepi's Pizza Parlor.

Jack : Guisepi, eh? Well, a free pizza is a free pizza, and what my stomach wouldn't do for a bit of something hot. Guisepi probably hates me by now, but whatever. I'll go anyways.

SCENE 6

Jack arrives at the restaurant, which is, for some reason, dark.

Jack : Hello? Anyone here? I think I'm in the wrong restaurant. Again.

Suddenly, Jack is stricken on the head with something hard and falls unconscious. He wakes up later to find himself bound by ropes onto a chair. Before him is Detective, jingling keys in her hand.

Detective : You might be wondering why you're here, Jack. But then again, you might be here wondering where your free pizza is. Actually, I'm about to take you through a short interrogation to help clarify who is actually involved in the attempted murder of Sir Gurisepi Buenavide.

Jack : Huh? What are you talking about? I don't know anything about anyone trying to kill Guisepi!

Ida: (From background) He's lying!

Detective : Just cooperate with me and I'll probably let you go. Now, how do you explain this, Jack?

Detective pulls out knife from behind.

Jack : My knife! How did you… I want my knife back!

Detective : So how do you explain wanting your knife back, but not being involved with the attempted homicide of Guisepi, if indeed this is your knife?

Jack : It's the other half of the pair of knives I own! That blade is super expensive, and after Guisepi fired me, I wanted my knife back!

Ida and Guisepi comes out from the darkness.

Ida : Why? So you could kill my dear husband and steal his restaraunt from him?

Jack : Eh! Why would I… I don't want this crummy restaurant if it was the last standing structure on the face of this planet! How could you assume such a thing?

Ida : You wanted to kill Guisepi and you know it! Don't lie to the detective, she's not stupid!*

Guisepi : I didn't know you wanted me to pay back for you knife when you were fired, Jack.

Jack : Yeah? Well, that's what I wanted you to pay me back for! You would not return my precious tools and I…

Detective : What do you use these knives for, Jack?

Jack : My culinary classes, of course! What are you, some idiot to think I would want to kill this guy?

Detective : Explain you're anxiety when we talked at the park.

Jack : I… did… not… want… to… be… late… for… my… culinary… classes…

Detective : So you're always on time, aren't you?

Jack : If I don't make it on time, I will have to pay more for my classes! And losing my knives, I would have to pay extra money that I don't have!

Detective : I see now.

Ida : See, I knew he was guilty!

Detective : This is all about Guisepi's money, if I'm not mistaken. Indeed, someone is after the Pizza Parlor, and the only way to get to the parlor is through the death of Guisepi.

Detective loosens the ropes from Jack.

Detective : If anyone would be able to attemt to kill Guisepi in his own bed, it would have to be someone awfully close to him, someone who sleeps next to him at night.

Ida : Why I… how could…

Detective : Indeed, but Ida is such as loving wife as you may see. Guisepi, you aren't cheating on your wife, are you?

Guisepi : Why no, how could you ever say such a thing?

Detective: That goes to prove. Ida, you indeed are the alleged predator who is trying to kill Guisepi for his parlor. A while ago, you were greatly involved in helping to fire Jack, and with this you took his special knife. To make it look like Jack was involved, you tried to frame him by using his property and suggesting him as a suspect. Only the criminals know what the criminal wants, so you could only be the person to bring up the fact of trying to take over the pizza parlor. You denied the fact that you could have been involved, but I know better. Ida, your husband loves you too much to cheat on you and for it to have been some harlot to place the knife in the very bed you sleep on.

Guisepi : How… how could you?!

Ida : Err… I wanted the restauraunt because I want the money to myself.

SCENE 7

With Guisepi's wife arrested, everything went back to normal. Guiseppi and Ida divirced, and the man married a young stripper girl. Jack became a very popular chef, and now owns a famous restaurant and a T.V show. I guess things were all good. I'm still remain unemplyoed, but someda soon, another mystery will come crawing up to me. Until then.

Detective Keishana puts on hat and walks towards the sunset.

The End

October 19, 2003